You Ever Talk To Sanity?

Sanity has always lapsed  slipped through my grasp. I've been here for ages and I have only once felt sanity. It was a warm feeling, but it soon faded. I've always wanted to asked what sanity felt like, but when I ask I get shoved and told to be silent it's not time to speak. 

I wonder why I'm here, I mean here.. You know what I'm trying to say?

You have asked this also I bet. But why is it okay for those who claim to be "sane" to ask that same question that rings like a bell in my head over and over again.

 Am I really even here? Or am I already dead?

I've tried to escape this place, but these walls are thick and the padding feels so soft on my bloody finger tips. They told me again that I need to write down how I'm feeling.

The Doctor thinks the journal will help.

Pain
Hate
Anger
Hate
Death
Rott
Burning
Saddness
Pain
Darkness

I've tried this but it doesn't work. It makes me want to rip out my eyes and scratch off my lips. I can't stand to see or speak these words any longer.
I wonder how it feels to rip off my eye lids?

I'm going to do it I'm going to pull my eyes out.
I'm going to do it so I don't have to see these things anymore.

I've started on my left eye..
It hurt but I got it.

I got the right eye now theyd are boths sgone.

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The Daylight

The daylight shined in through the windows, it was a welcoming sight. The night had brought unforgivable and unforgettable memories that will forever live on inside of me. It all started with a simple idea, a plan of sorts to catch some on explained footage that left us terrified and scarred. We decided, we as in Jason, Elsma and I decided to go to the old Pattson house and see if the rumors where true. We packed our bags with different audio recording devices and a few cell phones in case our cameras died.

We got the idea after watching this video of the house on youtube.



  This guy was one of the most brave people I've seen interact with this house. 

I know alot of you might think this is silly because well it's a house what is it going to do nothing's there but animals ect ect.. But you're wrong. So fucking wrong.

The Pattson home was a house that was passed down through the generations of Pattson's they where a creepy bunch, always kept to their self.  The legend goes that Roy Pattson and a thing for the town judges daughter, but the Judge didn't approve. When Roy said he was marrying her anyways the Judge went to take it upon himself to stop this atrocity from happening. He went over to the Pattson Home and found not just Roy but Roys Father, Mother, and Sister all hanging from the rafter. The Judge was horrified and called the local sheriff to come check it out. In the basement they found the Judges daughter and three other woman tied up and bound. They where also declared dead at the scene, the sheriff took the Judge into question and he was the only and most likely suspect. As the story goes the Judge was substantially convicted and hanged for the crimes. But before he was hung he made a clear statement that we all are reminded of daily, "This crime was not committed by I. But I will pay the price for this ruthless nightmare, and I swear whom ever comes near that Pattson home will also pay for this crime"...

Now that you know a little about the house and our town legends you can understand why we wanted to explore it right? I mean who can miss out on the chance of being those guys that stayed the night in the most haunted place in town? So we went, we waited till about 6 pm so we still had daylight to set up and get ready for the longest and what we thought would be the coolest night of our lives.

As the night went on we heard the usual creepy creeks and sounds of the woods. But then as about 11pm hit one of the door slammed, Jason swore it was coming from up stairs. None of us wanted to check it out so we stayed huddled in our "safe zone" as we called it down stairs. We asked spirits questions, thought we heard replies, but nothing to hard core. Then Elsma did it, she asked who killed the judges daughter. It was the wrong question.

I kid you not the house came to life, I don't know if maybe it was a delusion all three of us shared or if it was real. It looked like a brand new house, it looked one again. It wasn't the dilapidated place we went into. All of this happened at about 12am. But I swear it felt like the middle of the day, it was so bright in the house all the windows shined like the sun was out. We heard voices, and we followed them. I'm not sure why, but we felt it was what he had to do..

The voices came from down stairs so we slowly opened to the door to the basement. Jason went first as he was the biggest and thought he could handle anything, Elsma followed and I took up the rear. Jason said he could see movement. Elsma started screaming, I ran back.. I ran so far back that I thought I had left them.. But when I looked back they where right behind me. But not running, they where swinging from the room behind me. They where hanging there. Elsma and Jason both.. Hanging..

I passed out after seeing my friends hanging there.

I guess now your caught up right? I could find them in the house that morning, and the house it self looked like it had before the question was asked..

I've called the cops, talked to my parents.. No one else remembers Elsma or Jason and they think I may have had a mental break down well in the woods. They say I made it up to make sense of the fear I felt.. But I know that Jason was real, I know Elsma was real. I grew up with them...

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Have You Met Sadness?

Art by Tellosnap

Sadness is ill.

Sadness is meek.

Sadness is a killer..

The day I met sadness was the day my life fell into a dark hole. I met him on a dark street all alone, when I realized Sadness had nothing either I embraced Sadness with a hug. Before I could release him we became one. I lost all strength I once had to live, but I still went on as I was just a kid.

As the days got longer the nights drew shorter. The sweet escape from my dreams dwindled as my imagination seemed to vanish from all sights. I wondered when I stayed up all night if by morning time I would be all right?

But the days turned to weeks, weeks into years, years that held all my tears.

The 1st day I can't remember is the happiest day of my life. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

That day was probably black as the darkest night. But that day was the day I became. I wonder what it was like to be nothing? How does one know that they don't exist when we don't know what existence was? Was there even darkness? I mean if there wasn't the light could there be such a thing?.. I digress. I must get back to the topic at hand.

Sadness has made my mind weak, as I speak I get confused and ramble. I can't walk a straight line with out stumbling. Sadness has driven me to this point. I've started to use. What I use doesn't matter.

Just know I'm here now because Sadness has brought me down. I'm here with this gun in your families out right now because Sadness drove down this road. He brought me to this place.

I'm going to have to blow off your mother and fathers face, because Sadness.. Sadness wont subside with out these substances inside. I'm sorry I couldn't find any other way, I had to get money to keep going my own way.

Hopefully Forgiveness is in your hearts if not I understand if all you have is Madness inside after you find your parents hidden in the closest with their insides out.

----

----

I'm leaving this letter here so you know why I did what I did. I'm sorry they where home when I went inside.

I hope this letter makes it too you the children of Apt 20b.

-Sadness-

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Have You Talked To Madness?

Art By Tellosnap

Madness was sweet.

Madness was kind.

Most of all madness was mine.

   
  I met madness and welcomed it. Madness was a friend that spoke sweet whispers into my mind. I never understood how madness found me, but I never questioned it either.  I embraced it and the things it said to me. On occasions I would speak back in the dark laying on the edge of my bed I would mumble how I wish madness could control everything I did and said.

  I allowed madness more room inside me, madness always was beside me. I can't explain the reason why I let madness dry my teary eyes. But I can say this, I've never felt so complete inside. As the years passed I would speak to my old friend in times of needs. When I was being bullied or picked on madness would come to me. There was a child who used to kick and hit me when I was 12, that child fell and never spoke normal again. Madness said it was because of him, but the teachers claimed I pushed the kids and when I spoke of Madness they looked at me like I was crazy.

  I never spoke of Madness by that name again, from then on out Mister Nothing or Mr.N was his name. When my friends would disappear I knew Mr. N took care of those who brought pain upon me. I sit here, now right about Mr. N while he scrapes at my eyes crying to be free, but I know he can never leave me. I just feel him more and more everyday he is stronger then anything I have ever seen.

  The other day Mr.N had me nail my hand to my lap, he said it would make me stronger. My mother didn't know how to react so she packed my bag and took me to a new home.

  Since living here I've learned new tricks. If you shove wires or metal into a socket and put it on your tongue you can really livin' up the place. It's quite fun. My bunk mate used to talk and say mean things but since he lost half his tongue he hasn't been talking much at lunch. We don't share a room anymore. They put me in my own. I must be doing really good because they told me this will now be my permanent home.

  So this will probably be my last letter Todd. But don't be scared I wont forget that I put you in the pond behind my house. I'm sure mom will still wonder what happened to you, but she still believes you ran away because you where scared of the new family. The police talked to me at my new home about you, but I ddin't tell them where you are hiding. I promise it's our secret now. But I know. I'm happy we adopted you.

Bye now.
~--N--~

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The Curse Of Gold Bar, Washington

The Curse Of Gold Bar

We have all heard of Bigfoot in this small mountain town. But have any of you heard about the Curse Of Gold? The Gold Bar curse is a little known stories in this day and age. The curse was put on the town by "Chief Sultan" of Sultan, Wa. Most in this town think that the noises they hear are just animals in the woods or the legendary bigfoot, but infact it's something worse....

This monster has been called many things by the locals in Gold Bar such as "Skin Walker", "Mishibizhiw", and "Bigfoot" but infact another is to blame his name is "Larzgor". Few have met this beast and lived. But I was lucky enough to meet one member of this community names "John" who informed me that he met this creature and lived. John went on to tell that since the experience he has a terrible time sleeping at night and has taken up drug use to forget about the memories. I begged him to tell me the story of his encounter, I ended up having to give him money for a "8ball" in trade for the story about his encounter. So with a slip of some cash and a needle full of heroin the story begins.

The Story Of Larzgor.

John was but a young boy maybe around the age of 13 when he met "Larzgor" as he so fondly calls him. He decided to go for a walk in the woods like a lot of people from Gold Bar do. He followed 1st Street all the way down and said he went onto some "private property".

John insisted this was a normal occurrence in Gold Bar, and "private property" signs were meant for the cops not the locals. I nodded of course because who would want to disagree with a methed out hillbilly. His face was red with anger that I would even doubted such a thing. John insisted I dropped this notion of "privacy" and let him finish his story. So I let him continue with his encounter with this beast.

He told me he walked for half a mile before he started to hear things in the woods. He said it sounded as if it was coming from all sides. A horrible smell of rotten stale water and death soon followed, he insisted that water can go stale and that it stinks horribly. He told me that he felt as if he should of turned around but he kept going out of fear.

Then it appeared a beast like none he had seen before. He said it's head was large and dog shaped but looked like something out of the sea. He claims it even spoke to him. He told me it spoke in tongues but soon he understood it word for word. It was saying, "Do not puff the dragon for the dragon she'll never be caught". I'm unsure what this could mean but he looked shaken when he repeated it too me. I urged him eagerly to keep going, I must of frightened him because he soon fell silent. I then noticed he nodded off so I took a line and put it under his nose.

I had to cut my interview short because when he awoke, he awoke in a furry. He began to swinging furniture around yelling, "Larzgor!! LARZGOR!!." I made my way to my car with a new understanding of this town. I shall never shake this experience and I never want to.

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This story was originally posted on my wordpress blog here. 

It got a lot of heat from the town of Gold Bar. In over a day it got 1k hits and some not so nice comments about me.. Here are some of the original comments.

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It Was Nothing Part 2

It was nothing, it was nothing, it was nothing.. 

 These words keep repeating in my head, I know it was something though. They claim they found my wife, her car was parked by the ocean entrance. I don't believe what they are saying though, they claim she went "swiming" as she was found in a swim suit.. I mean it has been abnormally hot here but she knows not to go that far into the ocean specially at that time. They found her body washed up down the shore. I know it wasn't her choice why would she? She was on her way home. It had to of been that thing I saw.
 How else would she of been online, maybe that really was her and
 she was outside but I didn't get there in time.

 I know this is all just rambling now I'm sorry it took me so long to update you guys. But this has been hard to processes. 

The day she was found I saw something outside, it was that face again in the robes. It was just standing on my lawn looking towards her parking spot. I got the courage.. or maybe the rage to run out after it and it was gone like nothing was there at all. I thought maybe I was seeing thing's but I don't think so. It was so vivid, so clear. The day after I saw it in the yard was probably the worse day I've ever experienced.

 That night was the worse night of my life, even worse then the night I got the news. I kept hearing this voice telling me or maybe it was asking me to dig. It just kept saying dig, I don't know what it wants me to dig but it keeps saying it. So I did. I dug and I dug. I have these holes all over my yard and I know the housing committee isn't to pleased with the state of my yard but they don't understand. I believe I'll find the answers to it if I just keep digging, so far I've found nothing. I've dug a giant hole in the back yard, I mean it has to be 5 feet deep..But I can't find anything.. 

 But the sounds and voices are still here. They keep getting louder I try and drowned them out but I can still hear them and this face. I see it now even when I close my eyes. I've tried to sketch it out but I just can't make it leave. It shows up in the darkness as I lay in my bed. Even now I can see it in the window smiling at me. The grin doesn't go away it's forced into my brain.[ HEres what it looks like.. Heres the face that is going to kill me.]

 I've been trying to talk back to it and I think it's finally replying. Not with words, all it says is dig.. dig.. dig.. but with knocks the knocking. I asked it to meet me, to fight me and it replied with 3 knocks.. asked it to show it's self and it knocked in the back room.. I'm standing here now looking at it in my back yard. I tried to get a picture but nothing shows in the camera. I can see it though clear as day through my window. It's standing smiling at me, looking so happy. I'm going to make it feel pain, I'll make it frown.. I can't hand this anymore.. I think I've lost it. It maybe there isn't anything here at all.. 

Maybe it's stress? Maybe. But I'm going out there now to face it. I'm taking my gun and facing it.

 I'll either die or kill it. 

 It's 9:06pm Jul 13, 2015. And I'm going out to end this thing. 

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 This was what I found when I came over to my Travis's today.. https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep on his laptop and this was wrote out. There was no sign of him, I don't know if you guys know him personally or not but if you could message me with any details pertaining to this it would help. I'm his grandfather and this whole internet thing isn't my forte. Thanks. - Jess Delonge

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It Was Nothing

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3czpk5/it_was_nothing/

To start off I just moved back to this town last year when my great grandmother fell ill. After she passed me and my wife moved into this house my grandmother inherited after a lady she took care of died. I live right outside of town, we don’t see many cops or people for that matter as our road is a dead end. So I’ve always thought of it as a peaceful get away from the rest of the world especially during tourist season. But recently I haven’t been feeling the same way about this place. My House [1]

Three weeks ago we started hearing things outside like clanking and stuff being moved, I assumed it was a bear or some other creature. So I invested in a Mosin Nagant, as you know if you’re into gun’s it’s a cheap dependable bear killer. The only downside is it’s bolt action, I also own a 12gauge but I knew that wouldn’t be strong enough for this thing as it sounded like it was huge from the noise it would make at night. So with my new gun next to my bed I was ready for it. A few nights passed and it seemed like it must of moved on and away from my house so I started putting the gun up in the back room. Then it happened, the banging, the repetitive banging on my window. I jumped up and flung my curtain back and nothing.. There was fucking nothing. My wife was confused and still half asleep asking what was going on and I had nothing to tell her.. I couldn’t even form words I was so dumbfounded it was clear as day and I know it happened because she woke up from it, my two cats were on edge looking around. But there was fucking nothing to be seen.

I kept telling myself it must of been a humming bird or something whacking the window trying to get in. I mean that’s the only thing my mind could come up with to settle the questions of what was it.

The days and nights kept going on like normal nothing much but a few squeaks and creaks of the house. Nothing that I would find unusual for a place this old, it’s been here a long time and has tons of people living in it off and on. I’m sure it has a few stories to tell, which I wish it could so it could've warned me of what was about to happen. Last week we had a storm, nothing unusual living by the beach and all. The wind was ripping and howling like crazy through the woods behind my house. I heard a few branches fall and break which wasn’t abnormal either, but what was out of place the scratching on my sunroom windows. I have no idea what caused it but when I heard it I rushed out to the sunroom flipped on the back flood lights and stood looking out into darkness in my underwear. Again nothing was there, again an unexplained sound coming from windows. That next day I went and bought a 9mm handgun as I already had my CPL. As I no longer though it was a bear but rather tweakers maybe?

Again days went by and nothing, not a peep.. Until last night my wife went to work like normal and I was up playing games like the nerd I am. When I heard the fucking banging on my bedroom window again. This time I left the lights off took the handgun and a flashlight and went right outside. I could still hear the banging, but now it was coming from the master bedroom's bathroom. So I got into my “snake mode” and snuck around the corner.. Nothing was there. Nothing but the over grown grass of my backyard. So I looked around and stood just dumbfounded when it happened. The knocking was so fucking loud, I looked up at my window and there it was. Inside my fucking house knocking on the window. I don’t know what the fuck it was or how it got inside but it was in my master bedroom with my guns, with my cats.. I could see it clear as day inside the house. It had a smile on it’s face, the smile is the one thing I can’t get out of my head. It shined white, it was just the teeth but the whole smile was just a white gleam. The body of the thing was shaped like it was wearing a dark robe, like a jedi.. That’s all I can think of comparing it too. I raised my gun and hesitated for a moment, and it was gone.. It was there but then it was nothing.

I’m not sure if I’m going crazy or if something, someone… is in my house with me right now. I’ve tried to call my wife and they told me she left a few minutes ago, so she should be home anytime now.. But I’m scared. Even with my guns, I’m scared.. I’ll update you guys when she get’s home. I plan on both of us searching for this thing.. I’m locked in my master room right now and I don’t plan on coming out until she gets here.

Update 11:33: I have no fucking idea whats going on. I'm sitting here on my chromebook and I just got a message from my wife saying "I'm here outside". I usually go meet her at the door so I ran out there and nothing the car wasn't parked in the spot.. she's not there. I'm so worried. It says she's online still. But she's not replying.

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